A $12 Damn Blender.

"...hit the wall smoking & spinning; still wasn't thinking 'bout nothing but winning..." 

Sometimes, I wish that I was smart and had gone to law school after I graduated. I would love nothing more than to be expected to be (and get paid for being) an asshole every single day of my life. Woe is me, here I sit at headquarters - forced to be nice! But if you know me at all, you probably know that sarcasm, cleverness and a backbone are pretty much my three favorite traits in a person...and lucky me, my lawyer is made up of all three. His name is Rob, no pun intended. 

(side note: I just totally remembered my Uncle Obie referring to his lawyers as "Doey, Cheatam & Howe"....get it? Do we cheat them and how? Ah, nevermind.)

We contacted Rob because a criminal lawyer recommended him to us, and after a small game of phone tag I was able to get him on the phone. I explained to him in detail about the whole storage building fiasco...and he was immediately like, "F*ck this guy, bring me the information". 

Last week I took him the list of my belongings that were destroyed and their value, the contract, the receipts, the pictures, and the story start to finish. Yesterday, he called me unexpectedly as I left the nail salon, so I sat in my car in the parking lot and listened to him - and ultimately laughed out loud. Did I mention this guy is awesome? 

He explained to me that we had been misinformed by the lawyer that we had contacted initially for legal advice, and that asking for 75% to account for depreciation was simply not acceptable. He said, and I quote "if you paid $12 for a damn blender, then you need to get $12 back. It doesn't matter if it was only worth $4 at the time, it was still your $12 damn blender. He needs to put you right back in the situation you were in before he screwed up"! I mean, right?! So, this guy, this awesome Rob lawyer guy, says that asking for a full reimbursement isn't ridiculous at all, and that we will be going for the full amount of damages incurred. Amen to that, brother!

He also stated that the contract wasn't anything that I had to worry about, with all of it's big bold type saying "we aren't responsible for anything" blah blah blah...they can't disclaim negligence. And this is 100% negligence, since they - you know - neglected to update their records properly. The only other thing need to win a suit is proof of damages due to their negligence. That makes the score two for the good guys, zero for the bad guys! :)

Awesome Rob mailed a "hell or high water" letter out yesterday, demanding either reimbursement or contact information for ACB's insurance company. He said, "They've got insurance, liability insurance. And if they don't they're idiots and they need to get it. This can be considered their wake up call because they are liable". So long story short - if they don't want to pay up, we will go after the insurance company. If they don't want to pay up and don't have insurance then we will, as Rob proclaimed, "take it to Conrad"! At this point in our conversation I was all pumped up and I felt like a hands in the middle "Go Team!" was warranted, but being as I was by myself in the car in a parking lot, I settled for a single fist pump.  :)

As of right now, we're playing the waiting game - the waiting is the hardest part - but at least there is a game plan that has been set into action. He gave them a deadline of 7 days to reply, and depending on how that goes it will all be over, or it will begin in Henry County Circuit Court. It can go either way, but either way - we're gonna win! 

-- "...straight ahead, never turn around, don't give up, don't back down; full throttle, wide open, you get tired but you don't show it; dig a little deeper when you think you can't dig no more, that's the only way I know..."