Timeslap.

Okay - so I'm just gonna go ahead and admit that the very first thing I do each day as soon as my eyes open...is grab my phone and check the Timehop app.

 

Timehop is my homeboy for sure -  he just hangs out there on my communicator, stores my memories for me and then reminds me of them at the perfect time...that's pretty fucking amazing if you ask me! I guess when you are a nostalgic person with a sensitive soul, having the opportunity to look back and see what happened on each particular day of your life for however long you've used social media is something you tend to enjoy and actually look forward to.

 

Most days, Timehop doesn't let me down and proves to be good for a laugh, a reason to holler at an old friend, a way to see my life's progress, or a reason to shake my head at my own shenanigans - sometimes even all the above in one day. But then there are those days, though few and far between, when Timehop just unexpectedly "timeslaps" me right in the face. Timehop sometimes be like:


..."Hey, Jcrow! Remember that time when you thought this bitch was cool as fuck on March 13th of 2012... and then she really wasn't?" 


 ...Or, "Hey Jcrow, remember this time 4 years ago when your heart was shattered and you were sitting at home crying all day long?" 


 ...Or "Hey Jcrow, remember that this day last year was the first time your beloved Diesel Ray ever had a seizure?"

 

Yep - those are the ones that I call the "timeslaps".

 

So anyhow - these "timeslaps" got me to thinking a while back - I remember that I was laying in bed contemplating the ways of the world, and I mentioned something about something I'd seen on Timehop and how I missed having several different people around that were readily available to bring me joy in a plethora of ways. There are so many people out there in the world who used to play big parts in my life story - people who just generally made me happy, made me smile, made my day, shared a common interest...people who just straight up enriched my life in one way or another.

 

The trouble is - most of these people eventually ended up destroying parts of me in some way shape or form too. Therefore, they are no longer a part of my life story. I guess that's just my luck though right, that my souls favorite counterparts are normally shitty motherfuckers? Hahaha....anyhow, I was told that night, during that conversation, that I am a horrible judge of character and that's why my dumb ass always ends up with my feelings hurt.

 

And I guess that is kinda the truth, if that's how you wanna look at it. But really, I am not a horrible judge of character. I always know exactly what kind of people I'm up against, as it is very hard to fool me. I just choose to see the good in people instead of the bad. I choose to give people chances that they may not deserve. But you know what - as selfish as it may sound, most of the time giving people these chances is just as much for my own benefit as it is theirs. 

 

...I mean so what if he ended up destroying my trust and turned out to be just another jackass in a sea of jackasses? He made me laugh and smile and I enjoyed my time with him before that - so it was worth it, right?

 

...So what if she ended up being my worst enemy in disguise and tried to tear my life apart one piece at a time...I still get kicks outta the dumb shit we experienced together, and I still laugh a bunch when I think the dumb shit she would say to me - so it was worth it too, right?

 

..So what if he left me for a skank that I thought was a good friend of mine...before that he was my very best friend and the sole person on this earth that I relied on and could always relate to - so those years we spent together were also worth it, right?

 

I guess what I am trying to say is that maybe I'm not the dumb ass after all. Maybe if more people gave people chances they don't deserve instead of judging them, they might enjoy their timehop app as much as I enjoy mine. Maybe, just maybe, if people were less concerned with missing the pain...they wouldn't miss out on quite as many dances.