Put Boozer In 3 And Ride.

It's Wednesday and I'm so bored that it's making my head hurt. Like, for real - I don't even have anything to say right now, I'm just trying to pass the time. How about that, this one is for my entertainment and not yours!


I guess the most recent blog worthy news from the castle on Drennon is that I finally have a mower, and thanks to my Uncle Mike's yard OCD I didn't even need a bush hog as predicted! Randaddy scored the fine machine from a dude named Boozer - keeping with the pattern of naming shit after who it came from, I've decided to call the ol' John Deere just that. Which works well because I sure don't plan to ever mow without a cold can of Coors. Ha. Anyhow, Randaddy & Madre delivered Boozer Friday and I'm pretty excited about the mower itself, not so much the catch. The catch being that I have to make the yard look "acceptable", and according to Randy the only way to  do that is to stripe it. LMFAO, he's telling this to the bitch that was perfectly okay with not mowing and just riding the four wheeler around in he yard all summer to smash it all down! Anyhow, have y'all ever tried to "stripe" a yard? It sure ain't as fun as ruttin' one up, I'll tell ya that! 


From what I remember from my "stripe" lesson, I'm supposed to plan out how I want my stripes, mow around the outside of the yard like three times to give myself room to turn around, and then mow one stripe at a time, back and forth and back and forth, side by side. Now, there are quite a few reasons why I'm guessing this ain't gonna happen but two of them really stand out...one being that I can't mow in a straight line for shit. Even when I try to mow in a square, it ends up all kinds of crooked. And two, this ain't one of those fancy schmancy mowers where you can just move the lever back and forth and it speeds up and slows down and goes into reverse...nope, gotta clutch that shit to switch them gears. I just can't see my fat ass clutching and switching gears two different times at the end of each and every stripe....especially since I've got damn near two acres to mow! I'm just gonna put a beer in the beer holder, put the earbuds in my ears, put boozer in 3 and ride. :)


A co-worker of mine just came in proclaiming "I'm baaaaaaaack!" and was very excited that he was "better" and able to come to work. I asked if he had recently been "bad" and he replied..."pink eye" and pointed at his left eye. What I need to know is this: did anyone else's mother ever tell them that you shouldn't look a person that has pink eye directly in the eye, because you'd catch it? or did my brain just make this shit up? I did look at his eye when he pointed at it and it's not pink anymore...but I still had that thought in the back of my head, even though I know that it isn't feasible. Also, since we are on the topic, I'd like to point out that one can catch the conjunctivitis, aka the pink eye, if someone farts bare assed on one's pillow. Just throwing that out here. :)  


And also, dog people - riddle me this... You know that my pretty Slimbo Jade has been a puppy enigma since they day she arrived at the castle. The girl has surprised me and baffled me over and over and at 8 months old, that still hasn't changed. She has definitely challenged her mother's ability to adapt and overcome - lucky for her little ass, I love her! Anyhow, my little girl is super smart... at 5 weeks old and 3 measly pounds she figured out how to climb up on the night stand in order to get herself in the bed with us. Loki Joe on the other hand, couldn't get his big ass in the bed on his own until he was 5 months old. Being as super smart as she proved to be, it was odd to me that I couldn't ever, for the life of me, get her to stop taking massive dumps in her kennel. On the other hand, my goofy Loki did really well in his. I never can tell which way shit is gonna go with these two shit heads, but I can always count on one of them to act a damn fool! Anyhow - what bothers me the most about Slimbo, what I just can't seem to understand...is how she can be such a hard ass feisty little girl that runs and plays and beats up on her brother one minute, and then have her tail tucked and terrified of everything the next? Literally, if I put a leash on her, she drops to floor and shakes....she won't walk on a leash for shit! She's not a fan of people coming up to her to pet her, she usually pees if a new person comes at her too fast...but eventually she will go up to new people on her own and does just fine. What in the hell is going on here? I'm thinking she might be crazier than I am! But anyway - anybody ever had a dog scared to be on a leash? Anybody ever figure out how to fix that? I think I might need Aunt Daphne's help on this pup too.


I guess I'm gonna go for now. I think I've said enough for someone who didn't have anything to say...I've somehow managed to find a meeting to go to for a half hour and that makes me happy because the phone is ringing on my last fucking nerve today! Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.


Anyhow, I'll catch you fuckers later. :)