The Chronicles of Crowens has officially hit 5000 views! 5047 to be exact! That's fuckin' awesome y'all. It still baffles me that y'all read this shit like ya do...but I guess someone has to provide entertainment, right? I really do feel a little bit famous, though. But fair warning, today the bossman revoked my knitting at the desk privilege, so I predict that there will be a lot of writing in my near future. Hope y'all are ready to read some shizzle!
Me and the boys had ourselves a grand ol' Christmas. It was quite the task but our "Christmas Crawl" was just as successful as the "Turkey Crawl" we pulled off on Thanksgiving. We didn't even have to time warp, and that's always a plus! We were up and at Scotty's house by 7:30 am, and the visiting continued on well into the evening! The only thing about Christmas this year that absolutely sucked...was Nestor.
(Back Story) When I worked for the farm book, it was pretty hard to have Christmas spirit. For the last few years that I was there, from Black Friday up to Christmas Eve, we had to work from daylight to dark for the farm apparel store pulling, packing and shipping thousands of packages, answering thousands of phone calls just to hear people bitch about the orders that they weren't going to get on time, and yell at us about how we had single-handedly ruined their whole damn Christmas, over and over and over and over, even though we weren't the ones responsible for the lack of inventory that we had been selling online to people nationwide. It was a pretty treacherous job to have during the holidays, let me tell ya! Anyhow, one particular year when I was all bah-humbug about it, Dani Wells drew me a picture of a Jackass wearing a Santa hat, and to the side it said "Nestor The Long-Eared Christmas Donkey"...I had never heard the story of Nestor, and when I questioned it she had me look it up. (Click here for the Story of Nestor, if you aren't familiar!) I was immediately in love with the nice little gentle-eyed donkey from the bible, and I was suddenly full of Christmas Spirit! It was sort of a Christmas Miracle! Every Christmas since then I've made it a point to stop at the Living Nativity Scene in Bethlehem and give treats to the Donkey that they have playing the role of "Nestor", just because I love him so.
So I told ya that story to tell you this story: This year, Nestor was quite the Christmas Ass, in every sense of the word! Normally, he is super sweet. He lets me pet him and takes pictures with me, and he's pretty much the coolest donkey in the history of ever...but this year - he kept shooting us the stank eye (see picture to the right), he wouldn't come close enough for us to pet him except for when we were trying to give him apples, and even then he wasn't cool about it. He was pretty scary when taking the apples out of our hands, and when the apples were gone he was immediately back up against the wall where we couldn't reach him. Every time we tried to touch him, she shrugged us off rather smart assly. He was not the Nestor that I know and love from the bible. I don't know what happened to the other donkey, but as you can see, this donkey totally doesn't have gentle eyes! Needless to say, we left pretty disappointed that we'd encountered a devil donkey on Christmas Day. It was rather lame, if you ask me. 
We are now gearing up for New Year's and I, for one, absolutely cannot wait for 2013 to be over! It's been a year full of trials, tribulations and lessons learned...but it has put me in good standing to knock 2014 out of the park! I've got some big things in the works - I won't disclose them just yet, but I promise that everyone of you asshats who ever doubted me will be surprised. Swing batta batta, swing! :)
I hope that each and every one of you get to ring in the New Year with your most favorite people, just like I plan to do! Bottoms up & be safe! I'll holler at y'all next year! :)
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