Watch Me Prove You Wrong Today...

If you think I won't go, watch me. Oh watch me, prove you wrong today.
- Lorrie Morgan 

Two years ago, I was right smack-dab in the middle of the biggest life changing decision that I had ever made. Scared to death, and fed up to my ears, I posted the lyrics above as my status on Facebook. I don't normally care for Lorrie Morgan, but the song fit perfect when I'd heard it that day on the radio...I took a deep breath and began typing an email to all the big wigs at work. An email that said that after 10 year long years of being their little bitch, I was done. I explained why, I didn't sugar coat anything, I didn't worry about professionalism, I couldn't have drudged up a shit to give if I had even cared to try.

Earlier that day, Thursday, I'd been offered a job in a completely different field. I accepted the offer despite a dollar pay cut, despite going from working first shift weekdays to second shift and every other weekend. I accepted despite the fact that I'd never even considered the type of job as something I'd be able to do. Even with all of this combined, I hated my current job enough to over look every bit of it. When the click of the "Send" button, I'd gone from a Graphic Designer, to a Caregiver. Just like that.

"The south moves north, the north moves south. A star is born, a star burns out. The only thing that stays the same, is everything changes...everything changes." - John Anderson

The drive into work the next morning was definitely a long strange trip. I was excited that was over. Excited that I would no longer wake up with an immediate hateful thought every single morning. Excited to start a new journey in my life. I was sad...I didn't doubt my decision, but I knew that I'd miss my girls, I'd miss the actual job itself, I would definitely not miss the endless bullshit. But mostly I was pissed off, because I knew that they'd have some kind of fucked up reaction when I walked in the door. I knew they wouldn't be fair...although I had offered to work through the next deadline and train someone to do my job so as to not leave them high and dry, they decided to keep 93 hours of the vacation time that I'd already earned, and asked me to clean out my desk instead. To make up for it, they bought me Mexican for lunch - bless their hearts.

I spent the weekend nervous about my new job, and of course on my first day I realized that was totally not prepared for what was ahead of me. I went home a cried after the first two nights, thinking that I wasn't going to be able to do the job and all it entailed...but then on the third day - I was okay. Rob Raisor had encouraged me; if i could clean up three incontinencies, do three baths, get through three dinners...I'd have it whopped. Boy, was I glad that he was right. 

I spent 14 months in the Direct Care Department, and it was honestly the most rewarding 14 months of my life. There is a certain pride that comes with that job, that can't be matched. The joy that comes along with making a difference in someone's life every single day, is indescribable. And all it required out of me was a heart and a backbone. 3 months after leaving the job I absolutely hated, I knew for a fact that I'd never ever want to leave Cedar Lake, or the people that we serve. My heart and soul would remain here. 

After 14 months I accepted a different position, as the Receptionist. It wasn't long until I was promoted to the Administrative Assistant. This put me back in my comfort zone, back to office work, back to designing and creating, but still allowed me to remain with the people I'd grown to love. I work directly under one person, I'm only responsible for pleasing one person, and he trusts my ability to make decisions and handle whatever comes across my desk. Now, two years into this decision, I've got my Mon-Fri first shift schedule back, I make more money than I did after 10 years in the last job, and I honestly have no complaints. 

I've made a lot of decisions that weren't exactly the best ones, I've stumbled and Forrest Gumped my way through a lot of my life, but one thing I did was right was tell Patrick that'd I'd be here for orientation that Monday. I feel like I am blessed to be able to say that I love my job, because there are so many people who go to jobs and have to tough it out every single day. I spent a decade of my life being treated like a replaceable dollar sign...I wouldn't wish that treatment on anyone. They never thought for a second that I'd leave, and I'm so very grateful that I had it in me to prove them wrong that day. It's amazing how a place can change a person for the better, and I'm glad my path led me here.