To Have One, Be One.

It's Friday again here at headquarters...I'm beginning to see a pattern here! Except today, I really do have something to say. 

This time last year, I lived by myself and had no responsibilities other than doing my own laundry, feeding my dog and managing to get to work on time 5 days a week. I had a boyfriend that worked 2nd shift, and I had a lot of free time on my hands to do with as I saw fit. Usually, I spent that time visiting and hanging out with friends. 

This year, things are tad bit different. I now live with that boyfriend, his 11 year old son and 3 dogs. My responsibilities are far more than what they had been prior to combining homes. There is far more laundry to keep up with, cleaning to stay on top of, meals to cook, and quality time that needs to be spent. I love the guys at my house and when I get off work I'm in a hurry to get there to see them. I don't even like to take the time after work to go tan, or get my nails done...at 4:00 pm, this girl just wants to go home!

Given the current scenario, you can imagine that I don't have very much time to spare. It seems like there is always something that needs to be done, and if the time comes that there isn't, or if I decide to neglect something...I normally use that opportunity to do absolutely NOTHING. Maybe take a nap. 

I understand that it may not seem this way, because you all forever see shit about me and my soul sister on Facebook. And I understand why people may think that we live the most epic lives in the history of lives...but the reality is, we really don't. All those funny conversations and quotes and such that you read...yeah, 90% of those took place over the phone while I was taking a shit. And here's something else about the "Jessicawhompus" relationship that you probably did not know: it's not always about doing something fun. 

When she calls and I say, "Ugh! My house is upside down and there is something in the sink that stinks and a mountain of laundry to fold." 
She says, "I'll be there around 6:00, we'll knock that shit out. I'll dust the living room."  

Or when I say, "Those damn bitches left a crap load of furniture in my house and it's 125 degrees in there and I have three days to get it out." 
She says, "I get off at 4:00, I'll grab us a coke zero and gas up Whitey Ford." 

And when I say, "My hormones are out of control and I'm cranky and I hate the world!"
She says, "Take a midol and calm down. I'll cook dinner for you guys." 

If we're lucky we get to spend one day a week together doing something that we actually enjoy like going to river and floating around, or going to Scriber's for karaoke and dinner. We don't exclude people from these plans, we normally have at least one of our combined three children with us, we announce what our plans are via Facebook and we don't hide from people. We've never once stated our plans and then included a disclaimer that said no one else was invited, nor have we hoarded a table and refused to let someone sit with us.

And now finally, this is what I have to say today: The people who are in and are actively a part of my life right now are there because they put forth an effort to be there. They are there because they want to be there, even when the times aren't fun. They know my plans because they take the time to call and talk to me. They don't require a signed sealed and delivered handwritten invitation to join me in my endeavors, they know they're automatically invited because that's what what being friends is about. 

So, if it makes me a bad friend because I handle my business and do what I need to do as responsible adult first, and then put my effort out there to have fun with the ones that have put there effort out there for me when times weren't so fun, then fine. But what you people need to realize is exactly this: I don't do anything that you don't do. Friendship isn't one sided, and I'm not going to feel bad about my efforts, especially if they are equal to yours. 

Shit happens. Life Happens. So be it. 

Friday: My Second Favorite F Word.

Just sitting here again on a Friday, with nothing happening. I swear I can almost hear crickets chirping in the lobby...I guess I'll pass some time with some rambles for your reading pleasure. 

I joined weight watchers again yesterday. I damn near had to have someone shove me up on the scale. To my surprise, I'm only 10 pounds over my comfortable weight. That made me pretty happy...I expected at least 20. Now, my comfortable weight and my goal weight are two different things indeed...but so far, so good. I vaguely remember when I started this plan last time, I was convinced I had way too many points to eat per day and that it just wasn't gonna work, and I kinda think that again...but you know what? I lost 36 pounds last time...so whoever designed this thing must know what's up. Just gonna keep eating the good stuffs and see what the scale says next Thursday! Kinda bummed right now though - the kitchen is serving ham salad for lunch - which usually carries substitutes of chicken salad and/or pimento cheese - but no, not today. And they are serving no vegetables what-so-ever. What the hell is that crap? Meh. (Update: diet crisis averted, Michele "Wingman" Venegas is saving the day with a Grilled Chicken Snack Wrap in order to prevent me from starving all afternoon!)

There have been a few big revelations in the "Saga of Tesla Nicole" as of late. She's not only found herself knocked up (which I know because of a post on facebook, not because she's bothered to call and tell me) but as of yesterday, she's found herself locked up too. I don't even want to discuss the baby at this point, but I'm thinking that maybe a few weeks in jail will teach her what the phrase "court ordered rehab" means. It sure doesn't mean you don't have to go, and she's gonna find that out the hard way. I bet if I typed up half of this shit and sent it to MTV, I could probably score her a series. No lie. 

I just had a lady walk up to my desk with some paperwork and ask "Did you request these?" and I replied "No, I didn't request them, but I'm supposed to make sure they get to the right person..." and she says to me, in a tone that sounded like she thought I was a raging idiot, "That's what I just asked you." Uhmmm...no, it really wasn't what you just asked me. And no, I most certainly did not call you and say "Hey, smart person that we trust with 71 precious lives, please bring me these papers." Who's the idiot now, fartknocker? (<-- favorite F word.)

The ladies that inhabited my hut moved out last Saturday, and they did not tear up the place! They gave me the last $50 of my rent...for a whole 12 hours and then they stopped payment on the check. They were even nice enough to leave beef in the freezer and shut the electric off! Yeah, boy! They're some fuckin' bang-up people, for sure! They left me with a bunch of crap furniture as well, I'd be bitter about that but I have an OUTSTANDING idea for re-purposing one of the dressers. Gotta take the good with the bad I guess. I just hope once they are settled in their new place, that their refrigerator goes out on a swelching ass day, and leaves them with a mess exactly like they left me! 

Tonight, I'm gonna go eat with the Parentals, like always - hope we go to Scriber's because they have the most incredible chicken sandwich in the history of ever...nom nom. Then, I think me and the gorgeous boyfriend are gonna go home and lay in the bed, and watch TV and not do a damn thing. My poor fella has to work all weekend, and I've been battling sneezes and sinus pressure all day. I'm sad that he has to work though, I really wish he could join me and Madre tomorrow while we float in the pool and catch tans. 

...and that's all I got. Bye y'all, bye y'all....

A Public Ass.

We took the boys to the fair Tuesday night...and you all know what happens when you take little people to the fair: your car ends up with an abundance of crap in it. 

We took the boys to Dairy Queen for lunch the next day, and I realized whilst sitting in the line in the drive thru that my back seat needed to be cleaned out something awful and that the boys were gonna do good to eat back there in the shape it was in. No big deal, I thought...car wash is right over yonda. 

So we get our (effed up) order, and we drive over yonda to the car wash. I commence to gathering up the gatorade bottles and such from the night before, and tossing them into the blue trash can...going on about my business at that car wash just the same as I have my whole ENTIRE life. 

And by ENTIRE life, I mean since I can remember, I've always used that little run down, crap-tastic car wash for all my car cleaning needs. I've lost more quarters there than I care to discuss, and I've even sucked up objects that were very dear to me in the overpriced vacuums. Once, when I was a kid, I washed my bike there and managed to blow a chunk of flesh off my hand with the high-powered ass water nozzle. We've got history. 

So, you can imagine how surprised I was, as I tossed a small box into the can and heard:  "If you're not planning on vacuuming, I'm not accepting your trash lady! This place ain't a public dump!" No, no sir...it's really not - but you just made yourself a Public Ass. 

I stood there for a second, trying to gather my thoughts on how this man had just been rude to me for putting TRASH in the TRASH CANS out of my CAR at the CAR WASH...and I just couldn't think of anything more smart ass or appropriate to do than to walk my ass over to the trash can, gather up what I had thrown in it, throw it all back in my car and drive the hell off. So that's exactly what I did. 

Now, I've always been a fan of the mom and pop stores & locally ran businesses...I believe in supporting the little man. But I guarantee you that I will NEVER support this little man again. I understand that his whole deal with the car wash is to make a profit, but I also know that his trash bill would've been the same, with or without my trash. 

Word of mouth is best advertising method and it's also free, so you'd think being nice what few patrons he does have would be a skill he would've mastered at this point...maybe, just maybe! if he wasn't such an old fartknock, he wouldn't be so damn hard up for them quarters that he has to stand up there on a Wednesday and fuck with people over their trash...just saaaaayin'! 

But you can bet your ass I'll be spending my quarters elsewhere from now on. One man's trash is another man's treasure...if he don't appreciate my trash, that's fine...that's fuckin' fine. LaGrange Auto Bath will. :)