Welcome Back Friday, You Sexy Beast!

So, it's prom night here at headquarters, and that means I'm going to leave here today with a smile on my face, a smile in my heart, and a smile in my soul. I love my job everyday, but on days like today - when the people we love and serve get to dress like superstars, and be treated like superstars (by people other than the ones that work here and treat them that way on a daily basis)...I have trouble figuring out how I ever worked anywhere else. I've learned so much about myself and evolved so much since the day I walked in these doors, that I will not only love these guys for the rest of my life - but I will be grateful for what they've done for me for the rest of my life. And today I've made an executive decision: next year, I'm gonna coerce one of the guys into choosing me as his date so I can put on a evening gown and prance about and experience the whole shebang right beside them. Okay - enough sappy, right?

We've found ourselves a new lawyer for this whole Storage Building fiasco. I took all the information to him Wednesday, so at some point soon if not already - there will be a letter going out threatening ACB with what he called "hell and high water". If they decide to be honorable humans and pay me for the damages then fine. If not, the suit will be filed and we'll do it the hard way. I've had enough of the pleasantries, it's time for Gary to man up. Since, you know - he's such a good man and all. Hmph. 

I'm also in the process of being pre-approved to buy a house. Going pretty good - my credit score is what they refer to as "excellent". Ha! Imagine that - coming from the girl who couldn't have sold her soul and received a credit card 7 years ago. I guess I owe all that excellence to Randaddy's faith in me, and his golden signature that he ever-so graciously placed under mine several times. We're excited to get the pre-approval letter in our hands so we can start our search for our perfect home, but with the government currently on a hiatus it's taking a bit longer than normal. But in due time, we're gonna be out of our tin box on Booker Pike. One step at a time right? First I busted up out of the trailerhood, now we're gonna cruise on out of the tin box on Booker Pike!

"If your dream house, is a double wide trailer sitting back in the holler on a country road - then baby, that's where we'll go." - Jake Owen

Spent the evening with my besties and my baby sister and baby Sara yesterday. It was a much needed and nice girls night - full of laughs and ignorance. Baby Sara looks just like her bubby and her daddy when she smiles. :) I believe we had way too much fun at Tesler's pregnant expense, but she's just gonna have to deal with that for a few more months. We made the executive decision that the baby's name is going to be Waylon Nicole Nugget, and we made sure that she understood that if she ever decides to drop a deuce in the parking lot at Kroger, CPS will take her baby. Between Sara's bootylicious dance moves and scrumptious crackers, Jdale's ultimatum drafts, the phone "buffing", the chicken bones in the Kroger Pharmacy drive-thru, and Kenny Chesney turned all the way up - I'd say it was one for the books. We're gonna have to get together more often, ladies. Mostly so we can laugh at Tesler's waddle. 

My poor little gorgeous boyfriend is still fighting the war with his stupid "scoli-ulcer", as he calls it. He was doing better, but then got worse again yesterday. I'm about over this damn "scoli-ulcer" that keeps making my love super sick. I feel like I may need to kick it's ulcerative ass. I absolutely hate it when he's sick, because he isn't goofy and silly and funny and he doesn't do tricks. It's my favorite when he does tricks. :) Anyhow, y'all cross your fingers that he gets better soon. He's too gorgeous to feel this bad. <3 

So, now that I've updated you on what's going on with me and mine - I'm gonna hit the cafeteria with the $2 that Jdale donated for my lunch today. Which just reminds me that some dude slammed her with the beer cave door at Five Star yesterday, and her shoe was stuck in some gross sticky crap on the floor and she almost fell. She caught her self however, and missed a perfect "oh my check" opportunity. Such a shame. Some people what a lifetime for a moment like that. :)

...stay tuned.  

Check! (Please?)

So, this day rolls around every two weeks and never fails - it's always right on time. It's payday Friday here at headquarters - that means I will not get a moment of peace all day, the interruptions will be endless, and my bladder will have to be tough. Now, don't get me wrong, I love seeing the few smiling faces and a lot of times I'm bored, so I enjoy the small talk that comes along with the some of the visits...but, woe is me, not all check seekers are pleasant. I've decided that they all fall into one of the following categories...and you can blame my excessive need to organize for my tendency to group similar people together and give them titles. :)

The Anxious
These are the people that are here before I am. The people who don't allow me the time to open all my doors and cabinets, turn my computer on and hack into the safe where the checks are safely kept before they decide that they need theirs. Now, mind you, the majority of these people work 8 hour shifts - from 7 to 3 - and they don't get to leave for lunch. So you tell me why, at 7:50 am, there is such a dire need for them to get their hands on the checks that they can't even cash? I can't figure it out. Like waiting 'til 9:00 is going cause a check to bounce. Hmph. 

The Rude
These are the people that walk up and don't say hello, how you doing, go to hell...no pleasantries. There are some that will even smack the top of my desk to get my attention without having to say hello to me. With no regard to what I'm in the middle of, or what I'm doing at the moment, they hit me with an impatient "I need my check". Okay, sunshine.Let me just get right on that for you, and by the way - Good Morning. Meh. 

The Mute
These are the people who just walk up and look at me. These are my favorite because they create the perfect opportunity for me to be an asshole. And you know me, I never let an asshole opportunity slip through my fingers...therefore I refuse to acknowledge them until they speak and a lot of times I just stare back. I mean really, people come to my desk all day, every day, for a plethora of different reasons. Don't assume that just because it's payday, I know what you want when you walk up. I mean, I'm smart - I do know. But it's rude to assume. It makes an ass out of you, and me.Literally.

The Slacker
These are the people that just flat out don't give a shit about their stubs. Every now and then there is that lucky person who is well enough off to even forget to come get their live checks for a few days. Must be nice. This means that their checks and stubs just hang out, being guarded for days, then get divided up and given to supervisors to guard for a few more days, and then given back to me finally, to stamp, postage and mail. All of which could be avoided if....they just gave a shit about their stubs. 

The Friendly
These are the few who make payday not so bad. The ones that come up and talk, ask how I'm doing, smile, offer to help, offer to wait until I finish up the task at hand. Some even offer to come back at a better time. These people are considerate and nice and understand that kindness is a language that the deaf can hear, and the blind can see. These are the people that I like seeing every two weeks. Yes...these people are my payday friends...and they keep me from calling in every other Friday.

So, now that I've judged and labeled all of my coworkers, I think I'll leave you with a quote from my front desk best friend:

"We get paid today. We get paid today. Bye y'all. Bye y'all."   :)