"One day it started raining, and it didn't quit for four months. We been through every kind of rain there is. Little bitty stingin' rain... and big ol' fat rain. Rain that flew in sideways. And sometimes rain even seemed to come straight up from underneath. Shoot, it even rained at night..."
I wish I could find the words to adequately describe my frustration level with this stupid ass soggy weather.
I've got sunflowers and cucumbers to get in the ground. A yard to mow. A tan to work on. A creek to swim in.
I've got t-shirts that I just cut the sleeves off of that I need to wear, and jeans that I just cut the legs off of too....
I've shit going on that requires good weather. This is all just fuckin' unacceptable. Fuck.
I feel like I'm living in Vietnam with Forrest Gump & Benjamin Buford Blue right now.
At least I've got the puppies to lean up against so I don't have to sleep with my head in the mud.
That's why we a good partnership. We be watchin' out for one another. Like brothers & stuff.
Speaking of the puppies, I need to get Slim a new pool to occupy her time.
Her Uncle Fig ran over her old one with the lawn mower. Don't ask, cuz I don't know how that happened.
But Thunderbutt is gonna require one too big to possibly cram in the Lincoln this year.
Until I figure this situation out, I guess I'm just gonna have a pretty little wet and muddy princess.
Cuz Slim doesn't discriminate. Clean water, puddle water, creek water, rain water - it's all the same to her.
She must get that from me. I'd swear she was a Pisces too, if I didn't know better.
I just wish she could bathe herself.
Speaking of the mower, all this damn rain and the jungle that erupted from my yard broke boozer last week.
One stripe left to whack down, and boozer decided he was just not gonna mow anymore.
Not even one more stripe. Not even a little more. Not even at all.
I've had the worst luck with belts and pulleys this year. I'm tellin' ya.
Me and boozer haven't really been vibin' on the same kick ass wavelength. He's starting to piss me off, really.
And as we speak, the yard turning into a jungle again. Fuckin' rain. Fuckin' grass. Fuckin' wet grass.
It's the wrong month for this. All this rainy shit was supposed to happen in April.
Not being able to mow and grow and weed and create awesome shit outside has left me oh, so bored.
And the lack of an available sidekick has made the rainy day boredom even worse.
Finally got a sensible schedule, and my homies got significant others. Go figure.
And it just keeps raining, it never stops raining!
And it makes me tired. And it makes me sad. I've waited all winter for this to be over!
I'm going to have a full blown adult tantrum if this shit wastes much more of my spring!
I've been planning cool shit for months, and waiting and waiting. Shit makes me anxious.
At least I still have Netflix when it rains. Netflix never lets me down. Except when it rains really hard.
I have my thunder buddy too, even if she uses my flesh for traction to run away when it thunders.
And I have my soul puppy, even though he's normally wide fuckin' open and doesn't give a shit about rain.
I apparently have the ability to write about rain in short sentences and arrange them in crazy little paragraphs.
And when it rains, I have the rain. If nothing else, I have an over-abundance of the fucking rain.
RAIN!
